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February 10th, 2006
03:11 am - The Odyssey and its Titan
The girl tried to warn him about
The siren that was within her
He brushed it aside like a joke
And when the siren sang
She seduced him
But he didn't even try to look away
Instead he seduced her back
Still letting her sing
He didn't persuade her with his wit
Or his charm
Or his action
He seduced her with the chance
Of seeing the real world
He showed her that she didn't have to
Play the game alone
Or run from it
He promised her he would be there
To help her win
Or at least help her
Till the win was insight
And he told her
She could always sing
The taste of an apple
Only makes you love it
And they don't always fall
From the real branches
And soon the siren
Found herself
Without the willingness to sing
The real world was her home
However, it was no longer home
To him
He did not follow its advances
As she did
He did not understand her song any longer
What which once delighted him
He feared
What which once made him smile
Seemed fragile and real
He spoke to her like
All the others did
And the siren was left alone again
To sing at passers by
Written Friday, January 27, 2006
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03:10 am - It's Probably My Fault
I told him I wasn't dramatic
That I wasn't into public shows
That I would always understand
That I hated Creed
But did I abide by these promises
Or were they things I wished for myself
I try not to be dramatic
I tried to only hold his hand
When he wanted to hold mine
And I never stopped understanding
Ever
I stuck out what felt wrong
To try and see his side
And obviously that back fired on me
And now I am missing a good thing
My bitterness has gotten the best of me
What I thought was healing
I think spilt through to him
And he hates me for it
If he knows about it
I wouldn't blame him
Everything about the life he had
Around me
He changed in an instant
And it hurt
Was it because I said I was hurting
Still
Was it because I still wanted to see him
Because I said "No"
And still longed for his presents
Is that why it was weird
Why its still weird
I may never know
I feel like the friendship
The closeness that I dreaded to loose
That I tried to figure out
How to hold onto
I just watched fly away
Me
Tied to my own stubborn ways
And I feel
Its never coming back
And that hurts me inside
More then him
Living okay
Without me in his arms
Written Wednesday, February 08, 2006
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November 25th, 2005
04:37 am - Lets See you Try
Cats play with string
On my day off
They sit and they stare
Without a care
Morgan plays the guitar
She drinks during breaks
She wants to go home
But she's not alone
Flaky girls chuckle
As the man passes by
There's no need to worry
That guys in a hurry
Fuck the chore
He said
Lying beside her
Another please sir
So just remember
The cats as
They play
A simple
less stressful
day
Written on Wednesday, September 07, 2005
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04:36 am - Untitled
She just wanted
To be like everyone else
Jessie said so
He said so after
He took the blade
And ran it up his leg
Just like she did
He wanted to be
Like everyone else
too
Written on Thursday, September 08, 2005
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04:35 am - True Love Layers
Can you see it - The beauty
Can you feel it - The pain
I'm just your cheap whore
And these are my layers
Written on Thursday, September 08, 2005
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04:34 am - Untitled
Eggshells on white paper
Willows with no wind
Adam plays with Chelsie
As she dances on the sand
Daffodils in silence
Morning Glories in the spring
My innocence’s is broken
Listen to me as I sing
Written on Thursday, September 08, 2005
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04:34 am - Untitled
Johnny's here
Have no fear
Voice is gone
Move along
You want this
I want that
My views shattered
With your baseball bat
Written on Thursday, September 08, 2005
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04:33 am - His Eyes
I lay in his arm that smell of him
His longing smell that I dream of every night
Lovely music lies in the air about us
As we talk about things
Not able to talk about any other time
His eyes are the most beautiful I have seen
Brown as coffee
But much more beautiful then any fall painting
Spinning brown thread into my life
Making a perfect sweater to feel warm in
His fingers touching my cheek remind me of fairies
Dancing on my skin
Making their own magic known
For the world to see
And I touch my lips to his soul as if I have none
I hope he feels this heart beat
A heart beat for him and him alone
A calling is in the air
As I look into his well shaped face
Smiling back at me
Making me feel like Polaris
A center in his life which all the constellations
Revolve around
Touching his forehead to him I feel his thoughts
Creep thru my own brain
What is this hope that I hope
This feeling I long, but am scared of
His nose hits my cheek but still the touch reminds me
Of all those simple stars in the sky that don't get it
They don't know the feeling he put into every touch
Every glance he used to seduce me
I remember that sometimes he kisses me
Just to get his "fix"
This makes me giggle and he asks in his voice
His ever wondering voice
What it is I laughed at
What makes the world so joyous?
As to bless his presents with my laugh
I try to answer but instead cry
Tears that fall from my eyes that should never exist
His smile turns into a painful expression
As if I have trusted the knife farther in then before
Looking at me he tells me thru those beautiful eyes
"You have struck me
You have hit my core and I feel lost
Why?"
I cannot answer
I hold my now rose colored lip with my teeth
The tears freeze up and float away
The music carries them as I focus my heart on the notes
Again his lips grace my presences
The warmth I shall never feel again
Because we are both two scared animals
Waiting for what life has to give us
Am I to get up?
Am I to walk away from the fairies that grace my skin?
I get up and pull on that sweater
That sweater he knitted for me
Why did he knit it?
If this is the way the river will end
He stands his body upon his two legs
And hugs me tight against himself
I go to kiss him and he pulls away
The threads of my sweater fail and come undone
I feel the nakedness of a nymph
My frail body laying open for him to shatter at will
I turn to hide what fear I have of not seeing his eyes
His beautifully delicate eyes that yell to the world love
The heavens pull me away and I feel his lips on mine
He has graced me for the last time
I shatter to the floor
Longing to see into his eyes
Written between Oct. 9th 2002 & Oct. 15th
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04:32 am - Who is that Girl
The way she walks
The way she smokes
The way she looks at me
That, "I wanna fuck you" face
Those lips
Those hips
Those legs
That, "I wanna fuck you" voice
Her body motions
Her hair, its smell
Her soft touch
That, "I wanna fuck you" attitude
Where the fuck did she come from
Where the fuck is this heading
Where the fuck are my clothes
That, "I wanna fuck you" look
She bits her lip
She holds her breathe
She brushed up against me
That, "I wanna fuck you" body
Who is this succubus
Who is this siren
Who is this girl
Written on Monday, September 12, 2005
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04:31 am - Untitled
The young boy sits
Waiting to be heard by the unhonorable man
His thoughts float away from him
Upon the wind to nothingness
Cross legged and wondering
Leaned back and curious
As the ignorant old man talked
Of his wife so beautiful
Of his life so pure
And the intellegen, wise words are wasted
As the boy passes his mind
Written between Nov. 4th & 11th of 2002
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04:31 am - Untitled
There is a guy
In my Math Class
That reminds me
Of someone special
Someone I hardly know
But wish I could know better
It remindes me everyday
Written 7-2-02
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04:30 am - Untitled
Girls sit on the Square
Not Women
They lean into the car windows
Flaunting something they haven't even developed
yet
They tease
Acting like they don't know it
But they do
Young hoes live here in Washington
The younger the better right?
Written 7-2-02
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04:26 am - The Pros & Cons of Being Cynical
Everytime you turn around
One more foot to the ground
The entire crowd turns to the sound
And they can only listen
To the cries and to the lies
The hugs and the goodbyes
Don't pay attention to the curtain
There's only a man behind it
Pulling all the strings
Written on Monday, October 31, 2005
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04:26 am - Untitled
He played the saxaphone
He played the guitar
And he tried to play me
What is it about these musicians
What is it about me
That draws them
The snow, leaves, the petals and the breezez
Do not hold the answer
Written on Monday, October 31, 2005
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04:25 am - For Sean
I want you to know I love you
And that I care
Just because of all the circumstances
I can not be there
You going through what I was going through
About a year ago
When you knew it was over
But what to do, you didn't know
Trust me when I say its not easy
I guess I was to strong to tell
But most my tears dried up long ago
Only you know where they dwell
Its been tough between you and I
I guess thats just how it goes
That the kinda love we have for eachother
Will be one that always shows
Written on Monday, October 31, 2005
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04:24 am - The Girl Your Parents Warned You About
I'll be your cheap whore
You can hold me behind the theatre
Tell me you care
Then fuck me over
In more ways then one
I'll be your cheap little whore
The one that was made for you
The one that got away
The one you will regret
Messing with
I'll be your cheap little perfect whore
Taking me to a movie
Make love to me with your kiss
Take me home to mother
And tell her, you're a coward
That can't even call
Written on Monday, October 17, 2005
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04:23 am - I Called Him
He didn't answer
He never does anymore
He's too much of a coward
to talk about things he doesn't want to talk about
I left him a message
"Just wanted to let you know
That perhaps
The physical relationship
The liking
And the wanting to be around you
Made you think I wanted
More
But, to be honest
I'm not ready for that
Especially not from you
I want to just be your friend
Even thou, you ignoring me shouldn't
However, I won't say sorry
Cause you have been pretty much an ass
Thru all this
One because you didn't even try
to stay friends
Two because you didn't call me
and I had important things
to say
But just know, that I hate the idea
Of us ever being odd around one another
But if that's the case
You only did it
to yourself."
I left the message
But I have to expect
That it won't get thru to him
However, the idea
Of letting him know
Makes me feel better
Written on Saturday, October 08, 2005
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November 21st, 2005
05:14 pm - Love Through Him
I fell in love thru his lips
They sent a message to me
That even I did not know
His lips provided what any girl wants
to be wanted
to be needed
to be lusted after
Events that normally don't make me tremble
Did...
I shivered in his arms
Either because I was nervous
or because the vibration my soul felt
Raising off his clothless body to mine
I just wanted to feel this
This message
Even I could not decode
Over and over
So I kept him close
Pulling his body towards mine
Touching parts of him never touched
Ever before
Not even by himself
I am enjoying the un-understandable message
of the vibration
Whether they are imaginary
And my mind made them up
or if they are
Truely
a message
from his soul to mine
Written on Oct 5th 2002
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05:08 pm - I Shall Return
We've been connected
You and I
for a month or two
I've been floating in you
For a while
Your soul I almost knew
I understand you must
However
I will never understand
Leaving you means
I shall never
Become a grown man
And there goes my arms to hold you
There goes my feet to walk
There goes my heart to beat for you
And there goes my mouth to talk
There goes my eyes to see you
There go my ears to hear
And there goes my nose to smell you
There goes my only soul to bare
Can I love you
Still living
Here in this glass
Will you still love me
Being thrown away
My remains turned to ash
Remember this time
In twenty years
From now until then
Maybe if it is meant
To be for sure
I'll be born to you again
And there goes my arms to hold you
There goes my feet to walk
There goes my heart to beat for you
And there goes my mouth to talk
There goes my eyes to see you
There go my ears to hear
And there goes my nose to smell you
There goes my only soul to bare
Written Jan. 9th 2003, Altered Today. Written for a friend.
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05:06 pm - More Then One Meaning
I'm sure its not hard really
To see
Right thru me
So
Enjoy it while you can
Because I am not
Waiting
I'm better then that
Just know
That what I felt for you
Was genuine
Even if you don't feel the same way
And know
You could have had that
With me
So I’m not perfect
So I’m not the complete prize
But I am pretty wonderful
And I do enjoy making you smile
So maybe
Just maybe
You should give me a chance
Written on Thursday, September 29, 2005
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